A (New) Modest Proposal

For freeing our schoolchildren from the shackles of an archaic educational system and by so doing, to prevent them from becoming a burden to their parents and the country.

Those of us who have observed our nation’s classrooms can’t avoid the sinking feeling that our American educational system is an historical relic. Schools are increasingly plagued with violence and ennui. Attendance plummets and home schooling proliferates.¹

Failure has been in the wind for decades. At a certain point, it was decided that an infusion of computers would be the ingredient that would save a dying system. Now, one of these alleged panaceas sits glowing on every desk. A closer look reveals that the computer screens are open to whatever application best serves the needs of the student- Instagram, Tiktok, Snapchat or Kik.²

And why not? In the mid-20^th century, students began complaining about the lack of relevance of what they were being asked to learn-I know I did. Now students understand that just about everything they are asked to learn is irrelevant. Even fourth graders can see there is no point in having to learn and regurgitate historical facts anyone can get in an instant. What sense does it make to learn languages in the age of instantaneous translators?

The word “cheating” in this context becomes frangible. As a Federal magistrate judge said in a case concerning whether to induct a teen into the National Honors Society after an accusation of using AI on his project: “ChatGPT didn’t create cheating,” he said. “ChatGPT democratized cheating.”³ One person’s cheating is another person’s logical adaptation.

Twenty or thirty years ago, textbooks and other “old media” still had a role to play. Researching a topic for Social Studies or History may even have necessitated a trip to the library. Multiplication tables needed memorization and purported facts needed corroboration from multiple sources. But slide rules were replaced with calculators and authoritative sources like Wikipedia and Google saved many trips to the library (with the added benefit of savings on gas).

In the last few years, the growth of artificial intelligence has supercharged the process of solving problems and finding facts. The easy availability and rapidity of applications like ChatGPT has democratized learning and rendered older educational modalities obsolete. There are some who find this process disconcerting, but trying to impede the onset of new technology is simply the vestige of an ill-considered nostalgia for an anachronistic system. It does no favor to students, or to America’s future GDP.

So, what is the most reasonable response to this increasingly untenable situation?

Some might say “We still have to send kids to school. They have to have someplace to go while we go to work. We can’t put them to work-there’s laws against it.”

And here we get to the nub of my modest proposal: Are these archaic labor laws still relevant? Shouldn’t the jobs of tomorrow become the province of today’s education?

I understand there was once a need to protect children from the back-breaking work in mills, factories, abattoirs, etc. But these are not the conditions into which this cohort of tech-savvy young people would go. Indeed, as anyone who has been to a successful internet startup has witnessed for him or herself, students’ future workplaces will be clean, sanitary and well lit (albeit with occasional garish fluorescent lighting).

Skeptics might cite the loss of time spent by students in phys. ed or on the playground. They are apparently not aware of the facilities their future employers provide. For example, at Google, employees can access a free onsite gym, a pool table, ping pong table, Foosball, arcade games, rock climbing, volleyball and roller hockey. That’s not to mention free massages, haircuts, laundry and "decompression capsules”-perfect for the kids diagnosed with ADHD.

Here's how the plan will work. Children aged 8-18 will be screened for technical competence and placed in apprenticeships at tech corporations that are appropriate to their skill level. The more adept will be allowed access to elite entrepreneurs who can groom them for Silicon Valley success. Those who are unable to master programming can be provided with other useful pathways-anyone who has seen the deft fingers of young people will have noticed how easily those digits would adapt to soldering electronics. These students will take up positions in places like India and Taiwan-a rare opportunity to see the world at a young age! Others with a less technical bent may become “support staff” and be apprenticed to money managers, stockbrokers, personal trainers or life coaches.

We understand that for the artistically and musically inclined--long a drag on the finances of their parents and the welfare state--attaining long-term financial stability may not be an attractive enough goal. However, these outliers can specialize in providing AI “prompts.” Knowing they are helping subscribers create whatever art or music they desire will be significantly more gratifying for these artistic types than puzzling over blank canvases and playing jazz in empty nightclubs.

This will not be a hard sell to students. Young people have seen the statistics showing the devaluation of college degrees. Those who have felt pressure for academic achievement to get into high end colleges will gladly devote their energies to this new educational focus. These young people realize that instead of having to take on the burden of hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans, they will become wage-earners. Their taxes will help alleviate our national debt and rejuvenate a Social Security fund that has been dwindling due to the aging of our workforce.

There are other ancillary benefits. The average household income will rise dramatically. Student incomes will more than compensate for any job loss suffered by a mother or father whose job was lost to automation, robots, etc.

Anyone with vision can see that this new approach will also have a positive effect on the American body politic. Local costs for the maintenance of schools and the hiring of teachers have long been a burden on less prosperous communities. Alleviating this burden will eliminate the disparity in per-pupil expenditure between higher and lower income areas. Countless studies have shown that the difference in levels of education is reflected in our political choices. The narrowing of this expenditure gap will result in a dramatic decrease in political fragmentation.

The goal of our educational system has ever been to fill heads with facts. Eventually, the person able to accrete a certain number of such facts comes to be known as “knowledgeable.” This entitles him or her to higher cultural status and commensurate financial gain. The neurological processes are the same whether the facts concern Plato and Shakespeare or Gates and Musk. Imbedding the latter in the lobes of student brains is appropriate. In fact, not to do so at this point is culturally and philosophically indefensible. Only if we pursue this path with vigor can the TikTok-ers of yesterday become the TED talkers of tomorrow.

1. The share of children ages 5 to 17 enrolled in public schools fell by almost 4 percentage points from 2012 to 2022. Nearly 6 percent of all school-aged children nationwide were reported as homeschooled during the 2022–23 school year.

2. Surveys show that ninety percent of teens ages 13-17 have used social media. Seventy five percent report having at least one active social media profile, and 51% report visiting a social media site at least once daily.

3. U.S. Magistrate Judge Paul Levenson denied the student's family's request for immediate relief.